This is supposed to be an exercise in the mandatory writing rule of "show, don't tell." Terri only had 6 incidents of the word "look" in her WIP. By the time I scrolled to page 63 in mine (which is almost 60,000 words long) I had already counted 20! Some of them were really close together, so maybe I should work on that!
Here are my three favorite paragraphs. These are from a book which is still in edits and will be published through Queerteen Press in January. Like the book Terri quoted, mine is also part 1 of a 2 book series. This is a young adult dystopia entitled "The Divide: Uprising."
*Note The first and third sections of my book are in present tense, and the middle in past tense, so that's why you'll see the verb tenses in the following excerpts are different!
"I never looked at it," I whisper. Screams have long ago torn my voice from my throat.
"Look at me," she said. "My name is Dawn Delgado and you can trust me. I'll answer any questions you have. If you do get banned, it's not going to be the end of the world, okay?"
As we walked from streets lined with houses to ones with businesses and heavy traffic, I looked for evidence of the evil gay lifestyle and homosexual agenda, since I hadn't seen any last time.
I do think these are appropriate, but I also didn't realize how many times I used that word, and I'm not sure if it's supposed to be necessarily wrong, but perhaps an eye-opener.
I know I need to pass this challenge along to 5 other writers, and I will post the ones I choose soon!